everything you touch

seriously can't wait to go home for new years eve. i am dressing up as a fairy and seeing all my friends who i miss so very much. i haven't been to a proper party in months and i'm so looking forward to being able to dance and have fun! but before then i have to get through christmas shopping, mounds of work and way too many family drinks parties with relatives.

black/blue

Today I ate too much and watched The Dreamers.

I'm in such an inbetweeny phase at the moment. This blog must seem like a compilation of my many complaints, but I wish I knew what I wanted. I don't even need to know where I'm going, but just where I'd like to go.

I feel like things shouldn't be as hard as they feel at the moment. Maybe it's just the Winter... everything seems wrong.

materialistic

i hate all of my clothes. oh man. here's some clothes i do like.

wish i could just wear this forever...

underwater

I want to live in an all-white apartment and grow my hair really, really long. I don't want to write any more essays or think about my artwork at all.

for the camera

putting off coursework. my cousin came to visit me yesterday which was nice. we stayed up late talking and drinking wine. this afternoon I was supposed to be seeing My Week with Marilyn but I had way too much work to do (silly me). it would be fun if you guys commented here more, I like hearing from you.

also it's probably kind of weird how much I like amanda norgaard. sorry...

I really want to do something fun, new and exciting at the moment. I'm going a bit crazy living with just my mum and my incredibly grouchy little sister. I'm always wishing I was younger until I remember that that would entail living at home and going to school for even longer.

this blog now has 222 followers! that's pretty exciting to me, haha. I was just going through some photo folders on my laptop (I have about 8 themed folders with stupid names like 'dollypeg' where I save photos which fit the mood I'm in) and it's so funny how much my tastes have changed. anyway, I have a really busy weekend ahead of me. I am currently writing my film coursework, tomorrow my family is all coming over for lunch, then my cousin is sleeping over (I haven't seen her in over a year), then on sunday I'm going to southampton with a friend to see my week with marilyn. in between all of that I have to make history notes for a chapter, write a literature essay and produce a large amount of artwork. phew.

clean white

eating too much chocolate and staying up too late.
I just realised that it is now st. andrews day: the day I was due to be born. today would be my grandad's birthday too.

- e

da da deep

I feel like maybe I should post something about myself here, but it all ends up being boring and inane anyway. anyway, tonight I'm feeling quite homesick. I haven't dreamt about any single person I have met whilst living here in winchester, every night my dreams are full of people from back home which is strange. I guess maybe I don't feel like I fit in here yet. I didn't really fit in there either, but it was just more comfortable. I have friends here, but it's kind of lonely because there's no one who I feel really close with. I miss my buddies. if you want to be my friend and you live in the Hampshire area, please do get in touch! (joking...)

ps: I'm not really joking at all

bed bug.

today in photos

my hand, my hair, a duvet house.

-e

isn't it funny how if somebody painted a red square on a canvas one day, no one would care. but if somebody spent years pondering the psychological associations of red and/or squares and then painstakingly produced a red square on a canvas, it's likely they would be taken seriously as an avant-garde artist. people always point this out and poke fun at artists like this, like tracey emin with her unmade bed, but I can't decide whether I agree with them or not. maybe art is the difference between the two processes. maybe art isn't about what you produce, it's about how you get there. or maybe it's all just pretentious drivel. I don't know...

bị mất trong bản dịch

I have to write my film coursework soon. I'm analysing the scene from lost in translation where charlotte wanders about the temples and bob shaves his face and goes on the game show. I don't really want to analyse it because it is perfect and it might ruin it for me. if you realise that you are only being made to feel a certain way because of some sort of camera shot type or music, will you still feel that way? there's a niceness in not knowing, not picking it apart, and just enjoying things as they were meant to be.

wide shut

I always forget what time of year it is. I forgot just now because my curtains have been closed all day so I can't see that it is very dark even at 4:20pm. My favourite time of the day is when the sun is coming up and my curtains, which are normally very boring, turn this amazing gold colour and all the weird fern plants turn like a dark brown/bronze and it looks wonderful. I always think I should take a photo but it only ever happens when I wake up and taking photos is not the first thing that pops into my mind when I wake. some days I sleep in too late or it's too cloudy and my curtains don't turn gold at all which I do not like.

it's nearly my favourite time of year, when the skies are light, bright blue, the sun is low and casts shadows over everything and the air is frosty. I love when it snows and the world looks so beautiful and peaceful for a minute, before everyone ruins it and turns it all into slush.

consciousness

I doubt anyone will be able to find this blog anymore. oh well. last night I had a really weird dream where I went back to my hometown and started acting like I was 11 again. things feel kind of out of place at the moment and I'm bored, bored, bored of college already. I need to think up a blog name for myself but I'm not witty enough so I generally steal other people's ideas of blog names. I even started searching for the Finnish translations of pretty words, but they were all taken and I realised I probably wouldn't even be able to remember how to spell my blog name anyway.
I kind of hate my other blog at the moment so I may start posting here more frequently.

white, silver, gold, tulle...

okay I gave up and deleted all my old, ugly blog posts. sorry. anyway, I have spent the day in bed which has somewhat cleared my mind.

list of reasons why

• we are out of green tea with lemon
• I am sneezy
• my hair looks quite good today
• there is nothing to eat but green soup
• all the art I have done in the last 3 days is embarrassingly bad
• I feel weird
• I haven't spoken to anyone today
• I had to eat dry cereal for breakfast
• I haven't worked out for 2 days
• all inspiration no perspiration